I've never really liked my S'mores cookie. I mean, don't get me wrong. I am a fan of S'MORES but my S'mores cookie always felt as if it was missing something. Yes, I had the marshmallows. Yes, I had the graham crackers. But it was just missing that S'MORES taste and pizzazz to me. No matter how hard I tried to get rid of it, people would always catch me and say "Hey! Where is the S'MORES cookie? That one is my favorite!"
So I would reluctantly add it back to the menu. Even though people loved it, I didn't. I wasn't proud of it. So this fall I decided that the S'MORES cookie would be one of the cookies that I decided to revamp. My entire 2020 has been a season of revealing, healing, and remaking so recreating the S'MORES cookie seemed like the perfect thing to do.
After a few days of waiting for inspiration, I realized my deadline for this goal was up and I was just going to have to 'make something happen'.
I go to the kitchen, turn the oven on and start ranting to my mother about whatever had me bothered that day. This was the first time I was not consciously present during the making of a new cookie. As I am talking a mile per minute, I smack toppings on it, put it in the oven, take it back out, and repeat. I had no idea what I was making and frankly, I didn't care. My mind was elsewhere and that cookie was not important to me.
I ended up leaving the kitchen to go do something else and completely forgot that my experiment was in the oven. I was sure I had burned the cookie so I was in no rush to see what I created. I asked my mom if she could take the pan out of the oven for me and 30 minutes later, I walk in the kitchen and see the most beautiful S'MORES cookie I have ever seen! How did this happen? How did I create this? I always pride myself in putting positivity into my food. How did I create something so beautiful when I was completely frustrated, annoyed, and distracted?
This was proof that my negative energy could be transferred into something positive. I realized that I could use my fear, frustration, and anxiety to create, to heal, and to transform.
The only thing left to do was to taste it. It definitely looked like a S'more but would it taste like one? One bite later, and I knew I had finally made a cookie worthy of being called THE S'MORES. This cookie had defeated me for 2 years and I finally conquered it. I left the kitchen that day inspired and motivated to keep going because we as people are constantly growing and evolving. Even when we feel stagnant, lost, or uncreative, we are still moving forward. The challenges we face are not meant to hold us back, but to push us ahead, and for that, I am forever grateful.